My drive to the lounge each day takes me past a shabby little bistro with a sign proclaiming "Tasty sandwiches". This started me pondering...what else would even a sleazy little dive such as that serve its patrons? Would a restaurant survive serving "Tasteless" or "Vile" or "Disgusting" food? Why do I constantly find "Fresh crisp salads" and "Homemade fresh bread" on menus? Can something be made "Homemade stale"? Would anyone prefer an "Old wilted salad"? These descriptions serve to entice, but also would appear to be irrelevant. We go to a restaurant to eat good food (or so I would hope). To insult our intelligence by stating the obvious should enrage us.

I call upon you, my friend, to begin a campaign which might possibly end this annoying trend. When confronted with such idiocy, order the exact opposite in no uncertain terms. If the menu states "Fresh crisp green salad" ask for "Old brown wilted salad". If a "Tangy", "Tasty", or "Delicious" sauce, then order it "Bland". "Tasteless", "Uninteresting". If "Homemade fresh" require you be served "Store bought stale".

Such a campaign may not bring about world peace or even an end to hunger, but it may bring about a peace of mind and perhaps a piece of pie.